Golf Jokes

A little bit of humour to amuse you while you wait for your turn to tee off.

Golf: A game where everyone in front is too slow, and everyone behind is too fast.

Nothing counts in a golf game like your opponent.

"Two drunks were negotiating the short 12th at Pinehurst. One hit a long ball that bounced twice on the fairway, killed a frog crossing the apron, rolled over the green and dropped past the flag into the cup.
"Got a birdie two on tha' shot," yelled the player.
"Sure did," agreed his partner. "Even knocked the feathers off it!"

A foursome on the 11th at Westward Ho's Royal North Devon Country Club gallantly suggested to tow following American ladies that they play through.
"Why, thanks!" said one, "Go ahead, Sybil, you're up."
"No, my dear. You have the honours"
"No, you're wrong. I had an 18."

An American visitor was playing Scotland's Royal Dornoch Golf Club. From the very first tee, he succeeded in sclaffing his ball into every bunker, pond and clump of gorse within range.
On the 6th, he turned to the caddy. "This is the toughest course I've every played."
"How dae ye ken?" came the reply, "Ye hae na played on it yit."

"Like my game?" a golfer queried a fellow player on the 6th at Baltimore's Five Farms Course, "Lessons have cost me $2,500 so far."
"You should get to know my brother-in-law."
"Good golfer?"
"No, Good laywer."

"Sorry, hon, but I gotta' get up, shower and meet my buddies for a round of golf."
"Darling! It's only five in the morning. And we were married just yesterday afternoon!"
"Sorry, sweets. I guess I forgot to tell you. I'm a real golf freak."
"A real golf freak! Well I forgot to tell you! I'm a real hooker."
"That's all right. Just shift your left thumb down and over a bit. You'll be o.k."

"First time on the course? How'd you do?"
"Not bad. SHot a 68"
"Pretty good! Playing tomorrow?"
"Yep. Tomorrow I'm going after the second hole."

"How come you don't play with Harry anymore?"
"Would you like to play with a cheat who's always chiseling on his scorecard and moving the ball with his foot when nobody's looking?"
"Unh, unh!"
"Well, neither did Harry."


Putt on!!

Fran
http://www.tips-on-golfing.com/