Soft Seven
A young man is paired up with a priest on the first hole at the golf course. When they make it to a long par three the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole son?"
The young man says, "An eight iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his eight iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7 iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh
Fran
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/images/02/parshot.htm
Showing posts with label golf jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label golf jokes. Show all posts
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Golf Jokes
A little bit of humour to amuse you while you wait for your turn to tee off.
Golf: A game where everyone in front is too slow, and everyone behind is too fast.
Nothing counts in a golf game like your opponent.
"Two drunks were negotiating the short 12th at Pinehurst. One hit a long ball that bounced twice on the fairway, killed a frog crossing the apron, rolled over the green and dropped past the flag into the cup.
"Got a birdie two on tha' shot," yelled the player.
"Sure did," agreed his partner. "Even knocked the feathers off it!"
A foursome on the 11th at Westward Ho's Royal North Devon Country Club gallantly suggested to tow following American ladies that they play through.
"Why, thanks!" said one, "Go ahead, Sybil, you're up."
"No, my dear. You have the honours"
"No, you're wrong. I had an 18."
An American visitor was playing Scotland's Royal Dornoch Golf Club. From the very first tee, he succeeded in sclaffing his ball into every bunker, pond and clump of gorse within range.
On the 6th, he turned to the caddy. "This is the toughest course I've every played."
"How dae ye ken?" came the reply, "Ye hae na played on it yit."
"Like my game?" a golfer queried a fellow player on the 6th at Baltimore's Five Farms Course, "Lessons have cost me $2,500 so far."
"You should get to know my brother-in-law."
"Good golfer?"
"No, Good laywer."
"Sorry, hon, but I gotta' get up, shower and meet my buddies for a round of golf."
"Darling! It's only five in the morning. And we were married just yesterday afternoon!"
"Sorry, sweets. I guess I forgot to tell you. I'm a real golf freak."
"A real golf freak! Well I forgot to tell you! I'm a real hooker."
"That's all right. Just shift your left thumb down and over a bit. You'll be o.k."
"First time on the course? How'd you do?"
"Not bad. SHot a 68"
"Pretty good! Playing tomorrow?"
"Yep. Tomorrow I'm going after the second hole."
"How come you don't play with Harry anymore?"
"Would you like to play with a cheat who's always chiseling on his scorecard and moving the ball with his foot when nobody's looking?"
"Unh, unh!"
"Well, neither did Harry."
Putt on!!
Fran
http://www.tips-on-golfing.com/
Golf: A game where everyone in front is too slow, and everyone behind is too fast.
Nothing counts in a golf game like your opponent.
"Two drunks were negotiating the short 12th at Pinehurst. One hit a long ball that bounced twice on the fairway, killed a frog crossing the apron, rolled over the green and dropped past the flag into the cup.
"Got a birdie two on tha' shot," yelled the player.
"Sure did," agreed his partner. "Even knocked the feathers off it!"
A foursome on the 11th at Westward Ho's Royal North Devon Country Club gallantly suggested to tow following American ladies that they play through.
"Why, thanks!" said one, "Go ahead, Sybil, you're up."
"No, my dear. You have the honours"
"No, you're wrong. I had an 18."
An American visitor was playing Scotland's Royal Dornoch Golf Club. From the very first tee, he succeeded in sclaffing his ball into every bunker, pond and clump of gorse within range.
On the 6th, he turned to the caddy. "This is the toughest course I've every played."
"How dae ye ken?" came the reply, "Ye hae na played on it yit."
"Like my game?" a golfer queried a fellow player on the 6th at Baltimore's Five Farms Course, "Lessons have cost me $2,500 so far."
"You should get to know my brother-in-law."
"Good golfer?"
"No, Good laywer."
"Sorry, hon, but I gotta' get up, shower and meet my buddies for a round of golf."
"Darling! It's only five in the morning. And we were married just yesterday afternoon!"
"Sorry, sweets. I guess I forgot to tell you. I'm a real golf freak."
"A real golf freak! Well I forgot to tell you! I'm a real hooker."
"That's all right. Just shift your left thumb down and over a bit. You'll be o.k."
"First time on the course? How'd you do?"
"Not bad. SHot a 68"
"Pretty good! Playing tomorrow?"
"Yep. Tomorrow I'm going after the second hole."
"How come you don't play with Harry anymore?"
"Would you like to play with a cheat who's always chiseling on his scorecard and moving the ball with his foot when nobody's looking?"
"Unh, unh!"
"Well, neither did Harry."
Putt on!!
Fran
http://www.tips-on-golfing.com/
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